Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Adagio

If I could give one word to my creativity as of late, it would be adagio.
When it comes to art I've been a lot more tired lately, like I don't really want to do anything anymore, at least for a few days or weeks. Now, I've had this feeling before - this feeling comes from having several interests and hobbies at the same time. I'll be in my "art phase," and then a "music phase" (which I think I may be on now), and during those phases I set everything else aside, just a nudge, and focus on that more often. It was easier to do in high school, where it wasn't necessary for me to improve in those areas by much, but now that I'm an art major in college I pretty much have to focus on art all the time. And when I'm not in the mood, I really just can't. It feels like a chore.

Eventually I really am going to have to train myself out of this pattern and make myself more of an artist than a jack-of-all-trades (master of none). Don't get me wrong, having plenty of interests and hobbies is way fun and you never get bored, but it'd be nice to actually be good at something for once.

Every Monday and Wednesday I dread going to my foundation drawing class I've simply gotten so tired of it lately. In my leisurely artwork, like in the entry below, I really got into experimentation and abstraction, and this drawing class really is all sorts of rules and measuring - which is ironic, because I thought I liked rules in art, but apparently not here because it gets so tedious. To top it off, we've moved onto value and charcoal, two things I was never good at. So right now, my love of artmaking has been extinguished. Every time I pick up a pencil it feels like I'm getting ready for battle.

I know this is just a rough spot and that it'll pass - at least, I sincerely hope so. But I still can't help but feel like crap every time I get into these ruts. I just wish I could buckle down and do what needs to be done without thinking so much.

I'll get through this at my own pace - adagio.
Let's just hope I don't hit fine.