Friday, January 9, 2009

I feel as though I've been jumpstarted!

Ever since that last project I basically did a mad-dash to finish, I've felt unbelievably artistically invigorated. I want to do all SORTS of things now: I want to buy a screenprinting kit and experiment my brains out, I want to paint more more MORE, I want to play the piano, I want to play the sax again, I want to buy more jazz albums, I want to get better at chess and Risk and basically everything José's beaten me at, and thank God this all came while I was still on BREAK!

What I really need though is a job, I need some cashflow to fuel my flights of passing fancies and suchnot. OH! I need to sell my books online! That's some hefty cashflow right there, I need to, yea! All right!

Jumpstarted inDEED!

Wow, I got little flecks of paint on my laptop...
...Galaxy now has some STARS! Ahahahaha!

Anyway, a few days back I told Chelsea that she should write a short story for a blog, and I'd do the same. On that very day, I did not! So I will make up for it by writing a short story right now, in the spirit of Chelsea's Adventures of Audrey!

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Tatiana wasn't always a small girl: back in elementary school she towered over her classmates, sitting tall and pretty among the top five tallest kids in the class. Her long and lanky build made her queen of the court when it came to tetherball and basketball. However, she didn't appear to fit well with her height: oftentimes she felt quite awkward and didn't really know what to do with herself.

When she moved to the U.S. and reached middle school, she stopped growing and remained skinny as a string bean. Having lived abroad prior, the U.S. was quite the culture shock to her! People here were so much more boisterous... and tall.

As young Tatiana grew, she basically had adolescence slapped across her face in the form of braces and glasses. Can you imagine a string bean with glasses and braces? Because that's what she was. And because moving to the U.S. had overwhelmed her, she retreated into a little shell and stopped playing much sports. Her nerd levels rose exponentially.

Poor Tatiana, the string bean! She once towered above her class, now her friends used her head as armrests! Little did she know that a trip to the Philippines would push her weight, finally, past 100 pounds.

And where did those extra pounds go?

Straight
to
her
booty.

Now, she didn't think much of it at the time. Her family had commented that she had filled out, particularly in the face – Tatiana had heard that the face was the last thing to fill out in weight gain, so she was quite pleased. Perhaps the string bean should look more proportional now! Then her family pointed out her booty. It, too, had grown. It had never had much attention paid to it before, ever. At all! But now all eyes were on the booty that had magically appeared.

It wasn't just her family, either – her friends had the audacity to point it out! Surely, Tatiana thought, if they speak up about it, it must be quite noticeable! She was not one to be too obsessive about her body, but this was something to be obsessed about!

One day a friend of hers jokingly called her "Bubble Butt." Tatiana put up with it, but after a while, it made her very angry. She attacked the poor boy during lunch, slapping at his shoulders and pulling at his hair! She didn't appreciate such remarks about her freshly grown posterior, as she was not yet comfortable with it! It was like a new body part had nestled itself into her, and she was struggling to get used to it.

But in the future, the Universe would do well to Tatiana: in later years she slowly filled out and became more proportional, to match the booty it had bestowed upon her years before. Needless to say, Tatiana is quite comfortable with her body now, and when she asks of you, "Does my butt look big in this?" the correct answer would be, "yes, yes it does."

To which she would proudly respond, "Good."

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Yes, it is silly! Silly silly silly silly silly! XD

2 comments:

Lauren Ashley said...

I LOVED IT! I wanna put a short story in MY next entry!! :D

Chelsea said...

It's like Audrey and Tatiana could be soul friends!